Sigh. It's two hours to my first exam; Java. I should be panicking at this time, I don't know why I'm not freaking out yet. I'm not even that confident; is it because I shouldn't be? I KNOW I should be, though. Honestly, the gods of studies haven't kicked me in the balls yet. Probably, when they do it'll be really hard and they're just tugging on my pigtails at the moment. Oh wells, let's see how this goes.
On the other hand, it was weird trying to get myself to sleep last night (yes, I know I said I'd stay up all night, but I couldn't help it. My body just felt so heavy last night. I ended up sleeping at 3AM and woke up at 6AM. So, yeah haha) ANYWAYS! It was difficult because my mind started to wander off. I started thinking of "possibilities" and "what ifs". Goodness! I hate what ifs! Aren't they THE worst? I found my mind wandering off into the road of esteem as well - thinking why every time I have something at hand, with a tight grip, it always seems to slip away? I reckon it's probably because I give and expect more than what is required. Leading to suffocation. I should really fix myself; can't keep on having trial and errors. ):
However, I have come to a conclusion/solution. I shall try to focus more on who I am, who I wanna be, where I wanna be and what I wanna do. For MYSELF. This time, I'll be the author of this chapter. Good Lord, be with me. I really need this to better myself.
As I enter the new year in a few weeks, I shall enter it with a brand new Me with a new and better mindset. Lesdodis!
World, come at me! I'm ready for ya!
